


Where the line ends

by bitofageek



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Gen, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Post-Recovery Bucky Barnes, References to Depression, Steve Rogers critical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-02-29 13:30:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18779236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitofageek/pseuds/bitofageek
Summary: James Buchanan Barnes' thoughts on Steve choosing the past.





	Where the line ends

He thought he’d be more upset. But he wasn’t really surprised when he wasn’t.

James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes was putting himself back together.  Different pieces, in different places, and most not in their original condition. The past was the past. He was who he was… he just wasn’t who he used to be and hadn’t been for decades. 

With help, he’d come to terms with that; found a place of acceptance and was moving forward with his life. 

Steve… hadn’t.

*

It wasn’t obvious at first… well, maybe it was but since he had his own issues acclimating, he didn’t notice immediately. He was being chased, people were shooting at him, he was trying to pull himself together, and there Stevie was, at his side “till the end of the line”. Everything was a blur from Romania to Wakanda - and when he finally had room to breathe, to THINK, to BE… he “woke up” to a nightmare. 

All those people hurt, people killed, Tony Stark injured, Howard and Maria Stark dead - because of him. 

Steve wouldn’t listen. He didn’t want to hear it. Denied the blood on his buddy’s hands, the red on his ledger. God, So. Much. Red. Denied his OWN FRIEND’S blood, his teammate’s pain with the same 6 words over and over “It wasn’t you, it was Hydra”. He wouldn’t see. 

James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes couldn’t hide from reality - he knew he wasn’t safe so he had himself locked away. 

*

Time passed. Steve wandered. James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes slept. 

*

Shuri “found a solution” to the trigger word problem, and “outsourced” a replacement for his arm. Charges were filed, legal arguments made, torture was recognized, as was his POW status. Options for restitution were found. James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes embraced it all. 

Then he found out who’d worked with Shuri and T’Challa and made it happen. Stark said it was a big “F-you” to Hydra to give him his brain, his body, his life back. 

Which was a darkly funny way to look at the situation. James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes appreciated that and accepted the help.   

He let Steve assume the tech was Wakandan. 

*

He knew Steve loved him - at least the “him” he remembered. 

He knew Steve wasn’t able to see who he was now. Because he knew Steve never learned to BE where he was now - where they both were now. 

He knew Steve wasn’t coming back.

He thought he’d be more upset. But he wasn’t really surprised when he wasn’t. 


End file.
